Patiently Waiting

I feel ugly today
ugly inside
like the awkward kid
worried about being beaten
at school again
or at home
or maybe more like the kid that beats him
at school
and only gets beat
at home.

He's solving the problems he can
Neither are comfortable
both seek solitude
both patiently wait
to not feel like this anymore
to just live
without so much struggle
day to day.

Easy to see how human minds
first started to imagine
heaven
nirvana, etc.
Real undisturbed rest
at last.

I wonder if anyone really minds
dying from old age
is it always a release
is the last exhale
a sigh
of relief.