My Struggle

Why does it feel so hard to live? It, of course, doesn't always feel this way, but there are unambiguous moments when the daily act of living is a struggle. The mind slows down and finds normal stimluous painful, the desire to escape, to sleep, to drink, to take some action to cease the struggle. The mind will also, on different days, look for the cause of the pain and struggle. When you wonder, "Why is today so hard", your mind looks externally to others for answers... The question can easily become, "Who is making my life so hard". Both reactions have there pits and traps, both are equally often foolish wastes of time and potential. Regardless, life can be hard and our mind will naturally begin solving this problem.

The Gods of My Fathers

The beliefs of childhhood, the foundation laid by our fathers in how we understand the world and our spirituality, rest beneath reason and resist the questions of mature understanding. When these gods are reviewed and the mature mind desires to understand and integrate them into experience there arises an inherent nervousness and uncertainty. This is the moment of choice when we can choose to make these gods our own, or we can choose to adopt them and avoid the stress of personal discovery. The cost of and decision of true education.

As a younger man I addressed these issues as most young men do, a sophmoric release of fetters, a violent departure, and self assertion, but this left the task incomplete. For years I have put off this task and pointed reason in other directions, less personal, happy to retain my comfort and let the task rest. Whether I should have completed this all at once or if the task itself must be completed in stages as I am able to handle it, I do not know. I do know that I am driven to take up the effort again and take it as far as I am able.

I am motivated by the belief that we should not blindly accept what we have the capacity to understand and make our own. I hesitate because the task effects comforts and foundations that have been my good support even if I have been unaware of their extent. How can I say I believe if I am not willing to understand?

Our Government

I'm asking myself, how much responsibility should I rightly have in the state of our government. I'm concerned by the loss of personal freedoms. I'm even more concerned that I hear no voices representing this concern.